a halo of fire scarring made of flame the flower flavor find its worth [entries|friends|calendar] xhospitalwastex [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[16 Feb 2006|01:34pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | The Tear Garden-You, Me, and Rainbows ] This week has been horrible for the most part, which is a little ironic because one of the best choices Ive ever made happened too. I have nothing to do this weekend which sucks and I have nothing to eat in my house.Ugh I have nothing to say that will possibly express the way I feel. Skinny Puppy-hateKILL Swan song sings Death grows in Withering shafts The grey days Clandestine Wallow in nothing Back less break And turn the screws of pain Immense burn less time hate kill feed Hate kill less time Man strung trapped Cornering Sweeter than life above Made up Cast the worm wood Return Return in your blood Immense burn less time hate kill feed Tray are seeing chapters Master burns in me Crosses clutter faster Crumble black flag of history Immense burn less time hate kill feed Man who grow pictures the freak show Dense and fattened by a magic elixir Heat scores burn the shell All to see your private private hell [3] posted |comment

Survey [04 Feb 2006|11:50pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Gorillaz-DARE ] I am a cuddler. - With a certain person, not everyone I am a morning person. - If theres coffee then yes, or if theres Amy I am an only child. - Yes I am Catholic. - nope I am currently in my pajamas. - no I am currently pregnant. - Id hope not I am currently single. - no I am currently suffering from a broken heart. - no I am okay at styling other people's hair - never attempted it I am left handed. - no I am married - sure am I am addicted to my myspace. - no I rarely visit I am online 24/7, even as an away message. - no, only when downloading something I am very shy around the opposite gender at first - no I just dont like when a happy person tries to get you to feel the same and you dont want anything to do with them I bite my nails. - eeeewwww I can be paranoid at times. - yeah but if I am I believe I have good reason I currently have a crush on someone - no i have the one I want I currently regret something that I have done - about three months ago yes When I get mad I curse frequently - I let the expletives fly I don't like anyone. - I dont understand? I enjoy country music. - I loathe it like wheat bread...and I loathe wheat bread I enjoy jazz music. - I like the instruments, not the way it is constructed I enjoy smoothies. - no I enjoy talking on the phone - sometimes I have a car - nope I have a cell phone - hell no I have/had a hard time paying attention at school - no I have a hidden talent - good question I have a lot to learn - id suppose so, I am only 16 I have a pet - false at the moment I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal - true but Ive already revealed it to those close to me I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" person - no I have all my grandparents - no I have at least one brother - no I have been to another country - no I have been told that I am smart - yes I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor - Sock hands...HE CLEANS EVERYTHING! I have OR HAD broken a bone - yes, my hand I have Caller I.D. on my phone. - no I have bathed someone - um somewhat I have changed a diaper - no I have changed a lot over the past year - not really I have done something illegal. - yes I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color - no I have had major/minor surgery. - no I have killed another person - no but I cant speak for Schminkle I have had my hair cut within the last week - im getting it cut next week I have had the cops called on me -no I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't - no I have mood swings - yes I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life - no I have an idea I have rejected someone before. - in the most destructible ways yes I have seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy. - only the first and thats all i needed for the following week consisted of vomiting and nose bleeds I have seen the television show The O.C. - probably parts I have watched Sex and the City - Only when Kyle (Trey) is on it I like Shakespeare. - no I like the taste of blood. - its not something I prefer I love to cook. - I dont cook things I like to sing. - at times I love Michael Jackson - no I love sleeping. - True I love to play computer games. - no I love to shop. - never get to :-( I miss someone right now. - yes I own 100 CDs or more - no I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream - i dont practice I read books for pleasure in my spare time. - yes I sleep a lot during the day. - at times I strongly dislike math - its bearable I was born in a country other than the US. - no but sometimes I wish I was I watch soap operas on a regular basis. - no I will try almost anything once. - yes I work at a job that I enjoy. - no job I would classify myself as ghetto. - not to my knowledge I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. - no I am currently wearing socks. - both hands and feet I am tired. - no 1. Who was your first love? Amy 2. Who was your first kiss and when? When me and Ogre got all kinds of fucked up 3. Who was your first prom date? never been 4. Who was your first room mate? Ogre 5. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? Beer that I believe was Bud but I could be wrong 6.What was your first job? none 8. What was your first car? none 9. When did you go to your first funeral? my grandmother...i miss her, she was always nice to me 10. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? dont remember 11. Who was your first grade teacher? a bitch 12. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? never went 13. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with? I dont know I guess Amy to the movies 15. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them? dont know 16. Who was the first person to send you flowers? nobody 17. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents house? when Im 18 Im gone and his bitch ass is down state 18. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? Amy 19. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? never was one 20. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Ogre and the times we share (same thing but with Amy) but after Ogre of course. As Ogre would say "Awww Christ why'd you die?" Good times [2] posted |comment

Skinny Puppy-dOwnsizer [02 Feb 2006|07:29pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Skinny Puppy-Past Present ] attached in awe what a whiplash hate filled culture of viruses born raised and infected with violent thought to set it off defend the wrong incite the thing to bring it down the panic of in a moments time bomb the artful dodge to fabricate a polarizing opposite political intention to keep it poor without a choice so full of fear a peoples voice carve a scar warm clotting of meat the maker of the hollow cost kept pockets picked of all moral law to face the truth were banished from a history of then is wrong defend the wrong incite the thing to bring it down comment

[23 Jan 2006|08:10pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | the Tear Garden-Empathy With the Devil ] Amy came over today and we finished off the second season of Nip/Tuck. I need to get a job over the next few months sometime, I have my eye on Happy Harrys, ShopRite, Movies 10, Dollar Tree, or Taco Bell if it comes down to it. Truth is I will apply to anywhere around me just as long as I have money. I want to get out of my house as soon as possible to do so. Things have become so much more complicated over the past year or so but then again some things have made progress, such as me and Amy and actually having an idea or were I want to be in years to come. I personally cant wait to get out of school this year, its really just been all down hill.The sweet salvation of the Summer has only dissapointed once, and i dont believe it to happen again. The Tear Garden-New Eden My splintered stoned Medusa Lies in places by the mirror. Snakes alive, but I die laughing on a chair. I'm juggling apples, I feel the grass grow 'round my feet. A perfumed candle plays the breeze that sweeps from West to East to me, to you. Out here...in New Eden. We've learned from our mistakes. This time around we'll make things better. I won't throw that stone - I'd rather send a letter. If it seems we're being asked to leave, then I'll take you by the hand and together we'll expand from West to East. From me. From you. Out here in our New Eden. [1] posted |comment

Ogre being crazy [19 Jan 2006|09:07pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | Skinny Puppy-Anger ] I was really bored so i looked for this...damn im bored. comment

Skinny Puppy-Icebreaker [17 Jan 2006|08:24pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Skinny Puppy-Tomorrow ] passing ghosts heres the host talk of nothing matters most urban fracture whats the matter only i am lost rip blade doomsday cut string way they go away die love icebreaker are words misused enough those shameless view icebreaker shall sail right through cold mirror gives icy clues notice shells ails the well smell of hell dosed phantoms will future answer does it matter deaths the only thrill comment

[16 Jan 2006|04:17pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | The Tear Garden-Crying From Outside ] Everything today was good and now i feel like shit because of things that shouldnt even bother me anymore but it seems like thats how it always is. Depeche Mode- A Pain That Im Used To I'm not sure what I'm looking for anymore I just know that I'm harder to console I don't see who I'm trying to be instead of me But the key is a question of control Can you say what you're trying to play anyway I just pay while you're breaking all the rules All the signs that I find have been underlined Devils thrive on the drive that is fueled All this running around, well it's getting me down Just give me a pain that I'm used to I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive You just need to achieve something that rings true There's a hole in your soul like an animal With no conscience, repentance unknown Close your eyes, pay the price for your paradise Devils feed on the seeds of the soul I can't conceal what I feel, what I know is real No mistaking the faking, I care With a prayer in the air I will leave it there On a note full of hope not despair All this running around, well it's getting me down Just give me a pain that I'm used to I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive You just need to achieve something that rings true [1] posted |comment

The Tear Garden-With wings [15 Jan 2006|07:54pm] [ mood | Horrible ] [ music | Haujobb-Net Culture ] The crippled soul divides and the scars of years fly away like confetti on the desert wind. Phoenix rises - proud young wings reflecting amber. Solitary. Untouchable. Excited, and ready to search for his rose. But the flight lasted so long and those powerful wings grew weary as he padded through blind alleys, swooped open-eyed into blind curves and wasted night after lonely night trying to drink from a mirage. But no distraction could decimate the totality of belief, and his number came up just when the weight of his despair had him pinned to a rock; when the feathers of his wings had been shed and he stood naked before a disapassionate ocean of grey faces. His precious twin. His rose. Isolde dancing alone, then multiplying, inviting...so many many levels. And the crippled soul unites and prepares for the long journey home comment

[03 Jan 2006|07:16pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | download-Muscaria ] Im really not in a good mood right now and im bored so i thought id write in this thing.I still have to get most of the Legendary Pink Dots CD's and I have no money to spend.Yup school is very boring and now halfway through this i realise i have nothing to say. download-SuniC wait..wait.. you have only yourself to blame... you hear distant voices, speaking only to you.. special words for safe ears, telling you secrets, that only you can understand, that only you can comprehend... your imagination has been given the freedom to do whatever you want to do and nobody will tell you to stop, to cease, or to go away.. around your spinning head, around your golden head special words,glowing.. wait.. wait.. you hear a distant hissing, you hear voices, you turn your head, thc walls, the songs, the birds, the morning, you see everything that you want to see, everything is possible.. people of good clean spirits daughters,sons,you thirteen gods, thirteen peaks, stars,mountains, you are the word, you are pure, you are everything or anything that you want to be, you are everything. [1] posted |comment

[24 Dec 2005|03:44pm] [ mood | jealous ] [ music | Skinny Puppy-Bark ] Yup Christmas is tomorrow for those of you who celebrate it. I really couldnt care less the whole holiday has lost its meaning for me since about three years ago. I havent been eating meat for about three weeks now and yeah I dont really miss it. Amy and I are doing well and I couldnt imagine myself being with anyone besides her. I love you Amy, even if at times I lack showing it. Skinny Puppy-Harsh Stone White harsh stone white eyes behold bruise baths soak crying bones every days appeal to stop spirit calm on valium hate permeates and fills the air icy clouds the atmosphere illusions pull hair no reaction how was this done it exists by extraction of reason drooling drips the bile of sanity through the thought lines vomiting were even the clock wailed and sped past two tic tic toc in time in the real understanding myself thinking stand back unafraid and unaffected stand back non molested were even down down down again down here in the cracks face hidden cracks harsh stone white even were even BEST BAND EVER...i had to test my photobucket [1] posted |comment

[12 Dec 2005|08:32pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | Gorillaz-November Has Come ] Yup first entry in awhile.Nothing has really been different...me and Amy are doing well and Christmas break is coming up soon.Im glad, I dont feel like being in school any longer.Things are annoying me a lot more lately and I never noticed how annoying some people can be. Hopefully I get a sufficient amount of money so I can order the Legendary Pink Dots CDs and the remaining cEvin key and download CDs.Nothing more to say except I love you Amy,the only person who reads this thing anymore. A Chris "diD yOu knOW?" Animals are routinely cut open, poisoned, and forced to live in barren steel cages for years, although studies show that because of vast physiological variations between species, human reactions to illnesses and drugs are completely different from those of other animals. Today's non-animal research methods are humane, more accurate, less expensive, and less time-consuming than animal experiments, yet change comes slowly and many researchers are unwilling to switch to superior technological advances. Animal experimentation not only is preventing us from learning more relevant information, it continues to harm and kill animals and people every year for real reals not fo' play play. [2] posted |comment

[29 Nov 2005|04:12pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | KMFDM-Flesh ] Ive been extremely sick the past three days and I missed 2 days of school.Amy came over Monday and took care of me, then today I stayed home because i really felt sick. Tomorrow I have to go back to school which is gay but at least its only a three day week.Im gonna have a shitload of make-up work and im not going to feel like doing it. Gary Numan-Dominion Day In my darkness I hear Jesus crying. In my darkness I see children savage and blind. In my darkness I see dead men kneel before the cross. In my darkness I hear the voice of evil. "Disciples, dark angels, This is Dominion Day" "My demons, come to me This is Dominion Day" In his darkness I can feel the storm come. In his darkness Holy water burns my soul. In his darkness A grave waits for you at heaven's gate. In his darkness I hear screams that hide the voice of God. "Come children of Eden Pray to me on Dominion Day". "Pray for your salvation, Sanctuary on Dominion Day" My soul, save me. In his mercy, He will bring the disease. In his mercy He will burn the oceans. In his mercy He will tear the sky down. In his mercy He will make pain eternal. "Your nightmare is breathing This is Dominion Day." "Welcome to your saviour This is Dominion Day." "This is my new kingdom. This is Dominion Day." "Creation bleeds for me. This is Dominion Day." [1] posted |comment

[21 Nov 2005|06:26pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Gary Numan-M.E ] Yup gots only one more day of school left before break.Hopefully my dad has to work Wednesday and Friday so Amy can come over.Im really in love with her and i kinda wish that i didnt do some of the things i did when i wasnt with her.But i suppose some of it was for the best seeing as how things are so much better now.Going to the mall Friday...thats really the only thing i ever have planned.Damn school WILL be fun tomorrow. Gary Numan-Metal We're in the building where they make us grow And I'm frightened by the liquid engineers Like you My Mallory heart is sure to fail I could crawl around the floor just like I'm real Like you The sound of metal I want to be you I could learn to be a man Like you Plug me in and turn me on Oh everything is moving I need my treatment it's tomorrow they send me Singing "I am an American" Do you? Picture this if they could make the change I'd love to pull the wires from the wall Did you? And who are you and how can I try? Here inside I like metal In you All I know is no one dies I'm still confusing love with need [2] posted |comment

[12 Nov 2005|08:21pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | SMG-Snake ] Well im not changing my screen name anymore...everything i wanted was either taken already or too long.Lots of things have changed in the past week and i know its for the better.Im in a Sister Machine Gun mood and i only has two of their CDs.Seems to always work out that way.Hhhmmm I have nothing to do right now and no one to talk to.My dad went out hours ago "shopping".Man computer time sure is FUN. [1] posted |comment

[01 Nov 2005|07:28pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | nothing ] Um im probably gonna change my screen name soon and once i do im not going to be writing on her anymore so yeah i guess this is my last entry... KMFDM-Pity for the Pious The pious pour their pity pure I can sell a little cure The burning flesh The sweetest smell I kiss the angel Burnt in Hell I watch your fallen boring fate As you sweat and masturbate I'm touching you but cannot feel But one small poke and you will squeal Constantly commit consume Creep on to your closing tomb No whiskey welcome at your door Not a light for your whore Not a word that I can hear The stench of shit tells me you're near Your God is gaping Your God is waiting Your terror rises To no surprises Mirror, mirror on the wall Doberman's are in the hall Mirror, mirror on the wall Take off that blind fold face them all Mirror, mirror on the wall Dope bonanza in the mall Mirror, mirror on the wall Hold on tight I'll fuck you all comment

[30 Oct 2005|05:06pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | Depeche Mode-The Love Thieves ] School tomorrow :-( Oh well at least im not at my grandmothers anymore.Halloween is tomorrow so me and my dad will probably leave the house so he doesnt have to give out candy.I cant understand why people my age still go out for candy but whatever, if it makes them happy.Yesterday was good in the morning because Shannon came over but overall this weekend was a waste.I slept all day yesterday till 5 then today i did nothing.Next weekend wont be much better since im with my mom.Its so cold in my house....damn. Depeche Mode-Precious Precious and fragile things Need special handling My God what have we done to You? We always try to share The tenderest of care Now look what we have put You through... Things get damaged Things get broken I thought we'd manage But words left unspoken Left us so brittle There was so little left to give Angels with silver wings Shouldn't know suffering I wish I could take the pain for you If God has a master plan That only He understands I hope it's your eyes He's seeing through Things get damaged Things get broken I thought we'd manage But words left unspoken Left us so brittle There was so little left to give I pray you learn to trust Have faith in both of us And keep room in your hearts for two Things get damaged Things get broken I thought we'd manage But words left unspoken Left us so brittle There was so little left to give comment

[29 Oct 2005|10:27am] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Depeche Mode-A Question of Time ] Went to the mall last night which wasnt to boring probably because Shannon was there.Jeff didnt go like he said he was going to and had a crazy excuse but oh well im anticipating his new stories.Tried staying the night at Jesses but he fell asleep at 2 so I just came home seeing as how no ones home.Not a bad night i guess, got to get away from my grandmother for awhile.Man i have nothing to do at all today. Depeche Mode-Question of Time I've got to get to you first Before they do It's just a question of time Before they lay their hands on you And make you just like the rest I've got to get to you first It's just a question of time Well now you're only fifteen And you look good I'll take you under my wing Somebody should They've persuasive ways And you'll believe what they say It's just a question of time It's running out for you It won't be long until you'll do Exactly what they want you to I can see them now Hanging around To mess you up To strip you down And have their fun With my little one It's just a question of time It's running out for you It won't be long until you'll do Exactly what they want you to Sometimes I don't blame them For wanting you You look good And they need something to do Until I look at you And then I condemn them I know my kind What goes on in our minds It's just a question of time It should be better It's just a question of time It should be better with you It's just a question of time comment

Good Lyrics From Dave Gahan [28 Oct 2005|03:54pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Depeche Mode-Nothings Impossible ] Depeche Mode-Nothings Impossible Just give me a reason, some kind of sign I'll need a miracle to help me this time I heard what you said, and I feel the same I know in my heart that I'll have to change Even the stars look brighter tonight Nothing's impossible I still believe in love at first sight Nothing's impossible How did we get to be this far apart? How did we get to be this far apart? I want to be with you, something to share I want to be near you, sometimes I care Even the stars look brighter tonight Nothing's impossible I still believe in love at first sight Nothing's impossible Even the stars look brighter tonight Nothing's impossible If you believe in love at first sight Nothing's impossible I still believe in love at first sight Nothing's impossible comment

[27 Oct 2005|04:43pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Depeche Mode-Insight ] Mall tomorrow...ive been at my grandmothers after 5 PM everyday this week since my dad went to Florida...damn Depeche Mode-Its No Good I’m going to take my time I have all the time in the world To make you mine It is written in the stars above The gods decree You’ll be right here by my side Right next to me You can run but you cannot hide Don’t say you want me Don’t say you need me Don’t say you love me It’s understood Don’t say you’re happy Out there without me I know you can’t be ’cause it’s no good I’ll be fine I’ll be waiting patiently Till you see the signs And come running to my open arms When will you realize Do we have to wait till our worlds collide Open up your eyes You can’t turn back the tide Don’t say you want me Don’t say you need me Don’t say you love me It’s understood Don’t say you’re happy Out there without me I know you can’t be ’cause it’s no good I’m going to take my time I have all the time in the world To make you mine It is written in the stars above Don’t say you want me Don’t say you need me Don’t say you love me It’s understood Don’t say you’re happy Out there without me I know you can’t be ’cause it’s no good comment

[17 Oct 2005|04:43pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | KMFDM-Hau Ruck ] Well this week and the next are gonna suck since my dads going to Disney Friday and the next week.We have a half day Wednesday or whatever so i think im going over Shannons for alittle bit.I have nothing to do right now....damn... Leid Und Elend Dein Boot verlässt den Hafen unserer Stadt Alleine fährst du in die klare Nacht Nur noch fünf Minuten wünsch ich mir Meine wahre Sehnsucht kommt mit dir Ich liebe deinen Mond in meiner Nacht Ohne deine Sonne ist kein Tag Du bist doch mein Stern am Firmament Ich bin der Stein du bist mein Zement Geteiltes Leid ist halbes Leid Dein Herz ist mein Herz Geteiltes Glück ist halbes Glück Dein Schmerz ist mein Schmerz Dein Leid Mein Elend Mein Leid Dein Elend Mein Elend Dein Leid Dein Elend Mein Leid Ich bin deine Taste am Klavier Alles was du wolltest spiel' ich dir Deiner süßen Wunde süßer Saft Macht mich sehr betrunken ohne Schnaps Dein Leid Mein Elend Mein Leid Dein Elend Mein Elend Dein Leid Dein Elend Mein Leid [1] posted |comment

[12 Oct 2005|04:21pm] [ mood | PUMPED......FOR LOST!!!!!!!!!! ] [ music | KMFDM-Godlike ] Not much to do right now,Im going to get my hair cut at 5...other than that life is boring.Shannon is at work so i have no one to talk to right now.Tomorrow should be gay seeing as how its a Thursday.Lost tonight...then nothing.Friday im going to the mall with Jesse maybe Jeff and Brandon and hopefully Shannon.Other than that theres nothing to do.Man i needs to order Nihil its one of the best KMFDM CDs. KMFDM-Light Divine inspiration Total disillusion Instant consecration Mind and body fusion Frontal assault on the seven senses Orgasmic waste Eccentric and pretentious Deified dada Hard but true Godlike nonsense being thrown at you We keep simple Tough and outright Easy to swallow KMFDM light One way or another Now or later Bow down and worship The true creator comment

[11 Oct 2005|05:02pm] [ mood | PUMPED! ] [ music | Red Hot Chili Peppers-I could die for you ] Nip Tuck tonight Lost tomorrow...thats all the fun i have to look forward to.Shannon said shes going to the mall Friday so she will probably come over after school.Hhhhmmm nothing really going on except i have to stay at my grandmothers a week because my dad is going to Disney.I got my shirt today now all i need is my damn CD.Lifes not that bad right now so yeah lets just hope it stays that way. KMFDM-Flesh Into this void I will give my self-control Inside this noise is a weak and godless soul Give me what I know Feel this ego There's a rusty halo on my head It must have been something that I said This is the dome of my betrayal This is the final broken nail Fill this hole Suck this soul I'm the thing that I can't control Press my flesh These eyes are twitching like a cup of squirming flies When I'm on my knees you can do just what you please comment

[06 Oct 2005|03:13pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | KMFDM-Spit Sperm ] KMFDM-Blackball I am the fake behind the door The little worm that you ignore That brittle rage the bitter rubble Take your time and bring the trouble And on this little poison river The whiskey and wine that loves my liver Ease it once sleaze it twice My levy broke and so I choke You do what you want to me I give shit back to thee Don't give one word I say Now get out of my way Blackball Start the riot They will never keep us quiet Blackball Flip the script The veil of silence must be ripped Blackball I am the freedom that you flay I am the guilt that you display I am the scream you cannot help I am the corpse that you felch Blackball Burn 'em down Run the traitors out of town Blackball Wipe 'em out Turn the triumph into rout Blackball Hang 'em high Get them right between the eyes Blackball No amends Shut up and muscle your defense Willkommen zum ritt auf der rasierklinge Machen wir der gepentischen veranstaltung ein ende Lass uns den fettwanstigen kriegsgewinnlern die Gefrassigen mauler Stopfen Zerreisse den schleier des schweigens Wut und mut heissen die schonen tochter der hoffnung I am the filth upon your fork Your favorite cut of dirty pork The second hand that stands so still I am the clock that waits to kill Blackball Make 'em crawl Blackball Line 'em up against the wall comment

[05 Oct 2005|04:23pm] [ music | KMFDM-Leid Und Elend ] Well i go out with Shannon now so for once im happy.Lost is on tonight so im going over Jesses sometime.No more school till Monday which i guess is good i really dont care.Shannon is supposed to come over tomorrow then this weekend im with my mom.Nothing else to really say. KMFDM-Revenge The empty and searching streets These gutters they warm my feet Since your cold lips blue Give me life anew Your works and your understanding My God is so undemanding and don't miss a day And i'll always pay Give me life anew I got a love for the leader The Cross The Deceiver The ache is the answer to break with desaster Awake be forgiven arise with the living Never see realize peel your eyes feel the prize The battle burns in my head The love is dead and hope has fled Hate's the hurt my Humanity A corpse in bondage burns for thee you've been tied ripped and bled Raped by freedom while hate gave head You've got a screaming silence You're full of caution Your regret is my abortion This vicious victim lost his hold Revenge is a dish that's best served cold Let your bloodlust leave Let your hate recede I can take it all with one collect-call Awake be forgiven arise with the living Never see realize peel your eyes feel the prize Innocence dies trust betrays Hope remains I'm a fan of flames Hey there baby girl I got a weakness for lies And I'm speechless for highs Your hurt's my hope i'm your holy ghost your angel of mercy ill keep you dirty Be kind to be cruel So break every rule Be cruel to the kind and you'll take every fool [1] posted |comment

[01 Oct 2005|08:59am] [ mood | content ] [ music | KMFDM-Son of a Gun ] I must say XTORT is one bitchen CD.I dont know whats gonna happen today...ill most likely go over Jesses and my dad will be gone most of the day.I has 20 dollars so ill probably go buy a CD.Well alot is going on but its to complicated to even get into. Skinny Puppy-Warlock binge cringe on the fringe sloppy mincing eyedropping biopsy cyclops overlooks optic options rotton showstopper skinpopper babbler dabbler self confessed criminal tore pen in vain instant still spellbound game stock talk back rock reencounter incident subsistance inexistant non committed unwitted oblivious habitual resistor buff the stuff roughed up edge fluent nudge pre-collect ignition motivation inexistant wasted views thats all they see blue hot blood guild optic nerve with the right attitude you will succed blue self abusive recluse too late for me make shifting peace settling crazy things keep your eyes open soft spoken changes nothing a view so cruel dogs body comatose torchlight roast disinterest disinfect retold impressed by possession insiders know refresh detained contest off and pure sure tonight it feeds itself freeze in time or shadows climb distracting override instincts evolve and try over and over wasted truth why call at all blue hot lines eventual decline with the right attitude you will succed blue resent that discontent sidestep define the state of things so far crazy things a view so cruel [1] posted |comment

[25 Sep 2005|06:36pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | RHCP-californication ] Yup not much going on...went to see Flight Plan which ended up sucking and i pretty much did nothing all weekend.I have to go to the dentist Tuesday to get three cavities filled,so it should be super fun.All i have to look forward to anymore is Nip/Tuck and Lost. Depeche Mode-World in my Eyes Let me take you on a trip Around the world and back And you won't have to move You just sit still Now let your mind do the walking And let my body do the talking Let me show you the world in my eyes I'll take you to the highest mountain To the depths of the deepest sea We won't need a map, believe me Now let my body do the moving And let my hands do the soothing Let me show you the world in my eyes That's all there is Nothing more than you can feel now That's all there is Let me put you on a ship On a long, long trip Your lips close to my lips All the islands in the ocean All the heaven's in the motion Let me show you the world in my eyes That's all there is Nothing more than you can touch now That's all there is Let me show you the world in my eyes [1] posted |comment

[20 Sep 2005|03:06pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | KMFDM-Free Your Hate ] im done trying to make anything work from now on...whatever happens happens,i really couldnt care less about anything anymore.Still have yet to get my CDs in the mail so yeah thats something to look forward to.Its so obvious now ti have no heart...im really mean and fucked up...and i dont want to be that way. KMFDM-Full Worm Garden A token left with judgement a memento left ajar A secret never wanted death defying little charms How to defend pretend selective p*ss-away so long neglected pretty-frozen underground from above the odor leering Pass the meat from which I stink of All those tethered whether-wise A blood stain all the wiser desperation kicks the stool A little bruise to lose demure a staple cut and dry In the sink dissection decimation is the rule In determining direction acting agent act the fool Pass the meat from which I stink of Putrid helping kept inside Tincture Warning Second cousin to the new invention Addictive so charming second only to a forced unfusion Tincture of lead be said with no remorse full of confusion Wish to enjoy this weightlessness lay me out full worm garden A prick upon the finger looking back like hacking through To develop in the mixture of a portion of a view The distant elevation of a faded wicked high Divination ask a question of a spirit for a thing you used to hide Pass the meat from which I stink of Passed out serving on the side From the meat I'm suffocating Cutting from the bone to hide A noose-knit put on sweater tie it up around the arm Looks to grip along the trigger down the barrel of a gun Assume today a game to play cardboard house in dissaray Tremble little joker think dig it deep don't be afraid... [2] posted |comment

[18 Sep 2005|06:26pm] [ mood | empty ] [ music | KMFDM-Today ] KMFDM-Today Isolation When you leave its like I disappear Desolation Everytime you go it feels like Seconds slowly turn to minutes A month of sundays coming up Time again pulls me under Wonder if I'll rise above It's too much but not enough Misery loves company For a little bit of sympathy It's here today but it's gone tommorrow It's here today and today will never come again Desperation Sinking into somewhere dark and cold Deviation A place I knew I did not want to go To forget is all I know Minutes slowly turn to hours Another moment passes by Seconds of eternity I wonder if it's time to say goodbye comment

[18 Sep 2005|06:15pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | KMFDM-D.I.Y ] div align=center> How Good are you at Certain Things? Name Age Favorite Color Nickname Sex - 95% Romance - 31% Self - Control - 65% Kissing - 87% Cuddling - 40% Kinkiness - 32% This cool quiz by KillianO - Taken 2481363 Times. </a> New - Dating Advice written by YOU!</div> Thats depressing...but whatever i was on all day taking these damn things...very boring...still very lonely...i gots ta do my project...then many spontaneous things that can only lead me to immense amounts of fun comment

[17 Sep 2005|09:20pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | KMFDM-Ready To Blow ] Ive been feeling horrible most of the week and I know next week wont be much better.I feel really lonely,and im afraid that feeling wont end.I went to the mall last night, and when no one was supposed to be there they all were plus extras.I bought Lord of Illusions and yeah that was the highlight of my weekend.Today i was dragged down to my Aunts for no reason and I was very bored.Well at least this week is new Nip/Tuck and Lost.Nothing more to say except i hope things get better. Depeche Mode-A Question of Time I've got to get to you first Before they do It's just a question of time Before they lay their hands on you And make you just like the rest I've got to get to you first It's just a question of time Well now you're only fifteen And you look good I'll take you under my wing Somebody should They've persuasive ways And you'll believe what they say It's just a question of time It's running out for you It won't be long until you'll do Exactly what they want you to I can see them now Hanging around To mess you up To strip you down And have their fun With my little one It's just a question of time It's running out for you It won't be long until you'll do Exactly what they want you to Sometimes I don't blame them For wanting you You look good And they need something to do Until I look at you And then I condemn them I know my kind What goes on in our minds It's just a question of time It should be better It's just a question of time It should be better with you It's just a question of time [1] posted |comment

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